I’ll be using some strong language here, so I’ll put my rant under a cut.
I’m practicing expansive-mind-ness. Well, trying to at any rate. The main, kind of silly, trigger today was a post from my “friend” on fb linking to this hilarity:
She snarked: “This is what all cosplay looks like to me.”
Here there be “colorful metaphors” and rantiness…
Well, shit. I felt personally insulted by her remark. At first. Because I love cosplay (although I have yet to participate). And I have so much respect for her. She was one of my best friends in high school, we shared so much. And this isn’t the first time that a remark from her hit me in a sensitive spot. She once said that one of her greatest fears was getting fat. uuuuugggghhhhh. You mean, like me? Like how I got fat after I had a kid, gaining 50 lbs and 4 bra sizes and 8 dress sizes from when you saw me on a regular basis? This, my life, is your greatest fear?
yeaaahhhh. Think that makes you about as deep and compassionate as a shitstain, hon.
So I stepped back a little, remembered to try to listen deeply, with compassion.
She’s snarking about cosplay, yet she’s proudly goth, with a cute gothy black hairdo and makeup and only wears black and stuff. And she’s snarking on cosplay.
She’s previosly snarked on steampunk as colonial, goth wannabes.
She writes comic books with her husband and goes to comic con, as you do.
She suffers from debilitating migraines.
I think she feels trapped. Inside a box that she’s made for herself, her “cool goth” persona, which is evidently constantly under assault from wannabes. The box helps her feel strong, gives her a sense of power and belonging. But if too many try to fit into the same box, it loses its power. She becomes less.
How scary is that?
And how scary would it be to feel constantly out of control of your own brain, which just decides for no reason to cause you incredible amounts of pain on a regular but not entirely predictable basis?
So now I feel a bit sad for her. I’m so glad that my life hasn’t sucked out my ability to enjoy silly fun, like cosplay.
Because cosplay is awesome. Being fantastic at the craft of costume making is awesome. Having fun with others who love the same fantastical movies and tv shows and comic books is completely awesome.
And not feeling insulted anymore because of a friend’s inability to see a world beyond the confines of her own pain and fear – awesome.